Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
