the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
