Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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