How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
and she was petting her beer can
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
