what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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