so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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