not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
