508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
