Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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