You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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