Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize