Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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