he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
