1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
