so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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