It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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