You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
