i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
