she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
