Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize