He had one of those small greek statue penises
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
