We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The uberlube is also flammable
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
