I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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