I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
