I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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