Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
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You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
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I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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