i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
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