please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
this hospital has no fireball
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
