He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
