it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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