people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
