im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
