Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize