i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We got so high we made milksteak
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
