I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
