If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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