I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
