mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
