glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
