i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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