He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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