More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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