All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
