playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
