this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
being pregnant is like rehab
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Alive.
So much puke
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
