I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
