whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
