Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
