She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
