he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
