can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
