How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
