i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
