He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We left the knife in your bed.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
