i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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