Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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