he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
