I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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