I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her