that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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