Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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