Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
