he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
