when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
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