Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Randomize
