I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
