You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
