just tell him i said nine months
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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