Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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