last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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