There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
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You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
What a dumb baby whore.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
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I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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