I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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