I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
