Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
