when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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