if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
