why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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