I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He better not be in your backpack
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
