Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
